Tuesday, December 9, 2008

isomnia.

i came home today; numb and in a daze. finished off the drink and came to bed; pillow drenched in tears as i laid there asking the Lord why do i have to keep going thru this? why dont i deserve to find that person who will love me for my flaws and all? i put my all into this; and for what? to end up alone and hurt. you opened me up to love again when i thought it wasnt possible. but never again will i be that foolish. i am putting a chain and lock around my heart and closing her up. not only did you hurt me; u fooled my son which makes the situation even harder. he doesnt understand whats going on and expecting any minute for u to walk thru that door. he will realize one day that youve already took your last steps thru that doorway. so now i lay here with a bad case of isomnia. you keep rushing thru my mind. how unfair the situation is; how you can sit there and look me in the eyes and fill my head with hopes - dreams - promises; then rip them all away from me like it never meant anything to you in the first place. its like a paper cut; the shxt happens so fast and burns like a muthafxckka but there wasnt much i could do to prevent it and not much i can do to heal it. only time and a lil "tlc" will mend it. u said u were my best friend; that you'd always be there for me and never leave. i guess i jes have the worse luck with friends. if a best friend makes me feel like this; i'd rather be alone for eternity. so now i lay here; cant sleep.. not even knowing what else to think.

6 comments:

Reggie said...

Reminds me of a song....NICE!!:)

Brothers Blog said...

It saddens me to read about this situation. Even more that your son was attached as well. I hope that you can eventually heal as you stated. I know it's hard when the heart is involved.

Teia said...

This is soooo sad..I just want to cry FORREAL.. I wish you would talk to me about this..good luck..and keep ur head up girl..I know its hard and also hard on Bry..but now you know what you have to do!! Don't let em back in!! love you and keep going strong =)

Weebabie84 said...

Hey baby mama:) you know you always got love over here! Don't let him hold you down. He just missed out on the best thing that happened to him. Good things come to those who love hard, but karma comes back 10xs' harder; taking him for all he's got. You rep what you sow!

Anjl Marie said...

OK HON I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!

THIS WHOLE THING I KNOW IT HURTS LIKE CRAZY JU BUT...

YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON MAKING YOURSELF HAPPY AND BEING STRONG FOR YOUR SON.... I KNOW THAT IT HURTS BUT WHAT YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND IS THAT ITS GOING TO EITHER BE TOTALLY REMOVED AND YOU WON'T HAVE IT OR IT WILL BE HEALED AND YOU WON'T HAVE IT.

I LOVE YOU AND A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY NEVER EVER FORGET THAT.

AND INSOMNIA GIVES YOU CIRCLES UNDER YOUR EYES AND YOU CAN'T BE GOREGOUS WITH CIRCLES UNDER YOUR EYES SO REST..... AND LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY YOU HAVE SUPPORT AND HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SON WHO NEEDS HIS MOM.


I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

JuJu said...

Thank you everyone for the support and love - love you guyz and thanks for being here for me during this hard time ;]

 
blog template by laalaa online