Monday, October 6, 2008

UNT!TLED; Personal Thoughts

So much on my mind lately, yet I have little to say. I lay there in a daze. Confused and unsure of my next move or what to think. How is it that the two people closest to you can betray you so quick and so easily? How does a person really recover from that? My trust is gone. I would have done anything for these people. But my heart they took it and destroyed it where I don't know how it will ever be the same again. They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Guess I was just apart of their lil game they decided to play. Never taken into consideration who they may hurt in the meantime. I can deal with her. But him? I am not sure. I just sit there and ask God for guidance. To help me pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and to be able to one day put them back together again. As I look at the pictures of who you idol and fantasize over it hits me that quick, I am not who you want. You can criticize me and try to change me, but at the end of the day I am ME and that’s all I can and ever will be. I have tried to become this person you wanted in your life. Your trophy wife, so to say. I look in the mirror today and don’t even recognize the person I see. My reflection is there, but it’s not me. My life has been drained in order to become this person I am not. Meanwhile she just sits back and laughs and mocks the situation. The harder I work, the better she looks you mention. The glorious “glo” as I become the “joke” of the day. How is it that between these two people who you value most in your life, they can break you down so much? Make you feel worthless, useless and ugly? How was I so stupid and blind not to see all the facts right in front of me? I feel so foolish. You said you changed, but realistically I was the one doing the changing. I trusted you, I believed in you. I valued your word when you said you would never hurt me. THE BOTH OF YOU! So now, I just sit here. At a lost of words. Unsure of my next move or how to recover from such mockery. We were supposed to be a family. All of us. I opened my house and my family up to you and look how you betrayed me. As much as I want to sit here and seek revenge, I won’t. Everything happens for a reason and in the end… this experience will destroy you, yet make me that much stronger and wiser.

3 comments:

TeiaR1984 said...

Omg!! Soo deep and soo good..Girl you are soo smart and beautiful!! Idk what is going on..but I'm here for you iwish you would talk to me like you use to..I love you!! and want only good for you..and you do NOt deserve bad in your life only good..Well I'm here if you need me and to me it seems like you need someone to talk too..I love you and keep ur head up =)

isocal said...

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DYNASTY DESIGNZ & IMAGES said...

WHAAAAAT OH NAAAAA MAN DATS SAVAGE LIFE. U BETTER THAN ME I WOULD HAVE WENT MADEA ON SOMEBODY LOL!
YOU REAL STUFF KEEP YOUR HEAD UP CUS KARMA WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. 1 LUV FAM.....

 
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